Something Witty


I can't be bothered to think of anything clever right now, so let's just leave it at this shall we?
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holysheerios:

holysheerios:

teddysfotos:

i just

I’m so sorry

PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS I DONT REALLY KNOW WHAT A MANGO IS BUT IT SEEMED LIKE A GOOD IDEA AT THE TIME

Source: teddysfotos

mahousagi:

Finished version of my Meowrails!♡

mahousagi:

Finished version of my Meowrails!♡

Tagged: homestuckmeowrails

Source: mahousagi

toopaletofunction:

staythatswhatimeanttosay:

One nation, under Canada, above Mexico.

with liberty and justice for some 

Source: staythatswhatimeanttosay

dirtygvrl:

Rabbit Shaming [x]

I’m dead

Tagged: hilarious

Source: seoulsister

robotsandfrippary:

habitualrogue:

That can’t be a good sign

welcome to toon town.

robotsandfrippary:

habitualrogue:

That can’t be a good sign

welcome to toon town.

Tagged: hilariouspuns

Source: habitualrogue

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

Tagged: hilarious

doodlecri:

I’m prouder of this than I should be

doodlecri:

I’m prouder of this than I should be

Source: doodlecri

Source: bodyrock

idon-tevenwantoknow:

THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A RUSTIC CABIN IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM ALL SOCIETYimage

THEN THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A MODERN ASS HOUSE image

THEN I’M LIKE I’LL ACCEPT NOTHING MORE THAN A VICTORIAN MANOR
image

THEN I WANT A PENTHOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK
image

THEN I WANT ONE OF THOSE HOUSE MADE OUT SHIPPING CONTAINERSimage

THEN I WANT A FRENCH CHATEAUimage

BUT I ALSO WANT A TREE HOUSEimage

AND FALLINGWATER image

AND A LITTLE COTTAGE ON THE OCEANimage

HOUSES ARE SO COOL

Source: idon-tevenwantoknow

doctorwho:

the-fource:

How many daleks does it take to change a lightbulb?

ExterminEIGHT

image

Tagged: puns

Source: the-fource