Something Witty


I can't be bothered to think of anything clever right now, so let's just leave it at this shall we?
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dirtygvrl:

Rabbit Shaming [x]

I’m dead

Tagged: hilarious

Source: seoulsister

robotsandfrippary:

habitualrogue:

That can’t be a good sign

welcome to toon town.

robotsandfrippary:

habitualrogue:

That can’t be a good sign

welcome to toon town.

Tagged: hilariouspuns

Source: habitualrogue

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORYSo a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

chevy-raised-jack-daniels-fed:

merrymaudlin:

mercurykiss:

thugburrito:

My faith in pizza guys has gone up 123%

NO LET ME TELL YOU A STORY
So a few weeks ago I was in a hotel in Savannah with my grampa in the hospital next door, Mom was over staying with him, and the battery in the smoke detector went out so every 5 minutes it would let off this loud, high pitched ‘CHIRP’.

It was annoying as fuck, so I called the front desk to see if they had a battery for it, and they said the only thing they could do was change rooms. We’d already settled in for the night, and needed the next door rooms for my uncles the next day, so I said I’d deal. My uncles had my car in the next town over, so I couldn’t drive and get one myself.

An hour later, I’m ordering pizza and have gone insane because the damn thing CHIRPS. SO. MUCH.

So I begged the pizza guy on the phone to stop and get me a battery, told him I’d pay for the battery, and give him an extra tip for it, and he was chill with it. This adorable fucker gets to my room with the battery, opens it, asks to see the smoke detector, CLIMBS ON THE BED, CHANGES THE BATTERY FOR ME, and tests it.

My pizza was only 20 dollars, but I gave him 40 and told him to keep the change.

I am clearly not fully utilizing my pizza delivery person…..

What’s next pizza delivery hitmen

Tagged: hilarious

doodlecri:

I’m prouder of this than I should be

doodlecri:

I’m prouder of this than I should be

Source: doodlecri

Source: bodyrock

idon-tevenwantoknow:

THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A RUSTIC CABIN IN THE WOODS AWAY FROM ALL SOCIETYimage

THEN THERE’S TIMES WHEN I WANT A MODERN ASS HOUSE image

THEN I’M LIKE I’LL ACCEPT NOTHING MORE THAN A VICTORIAN MANOR
image

THEN I WANT A PENTHOUSE IN THE MIDDLE OF NEW YORK
image

THEN I WANT ONE OF THOSE HOUSE MADE OUT SHIPPING CONTAINERSimage

THEN I WANT A FRENCH CHATEAUimage

BUT I ALSO WANT A TREE HOUSEimage

AND FALLINGWATER image

AND A LITTLE COTTAGE ON THE OCEANimage

HOUSES ARE SO COOL

Source: idon-tevenwantoknow

doctorwho:

the-fource:

How many daleks does it take to change a lightbulb?

ExterminEIGHT

image

Tagged: puns

Source: the-fource

pdlcomics:

Earth and Moon

pdlcomics:

Earth and Moon

Source: pdlcomics

toraberushimeri said: Out of all of Les Amis, who do you think would be the most likely to randomly show up to a meeting with a baby goat?

darthfar:

theladyragnell:

See, this is a difficult question not because I think any of them wouldn’t but because I think they all definitely would.

Enjolras shows up in a temper because someone was abusing a baby goat and who does things like that and raging about the injustices of animal abuse while cuddling the baby.

Combeferre is goat-sitting and enthuses about the many and varied uses for goats and has his goat litter-trained and thus figures he may as well bring it out to get socialized.

Courfeyrac confiscated the kid because it was being held as evidence at the police station or something and it was bleating and really, Enjolras, what was he supposed to do, leave it there?

One of Feuilly’s neighbors had the goat but couldn’t take care of it anymore, so he took it in, and it’s still young enough to need frequent feeding, so he brings it to the meeting.

Jehan turns up with the goat following at his heels, announces he’s named it Eurydice because it followed him out of hell, and declines to explain further. When Combeferre points out it is a boy goat he only gets a withering look in response.

Joly and Bossuet turn up with a goat, Bossuet’s arm in a sling, and about six bags full of potential goat foods Joly wants to try. Both of them look very shifty. They all decide it is probably best not to ask.

Bahorel met this dude with a baller goat, and the dude was totally an asshole, so he punched him out and took the goat. The goat’s name is Rex. Like T. Rex, Enjolras, cool it, I’m not indoctrinating my goat into the monarchy.

Some model for one of Grantaire’s art classes came with a goat because they thought it would make for a good ~pastoral painting~ or something, and then left the goat there, so Grantaire shrugged and brought it with him. It’s named Bottle. Shut up, Courfeyrac, that’s a totally legit goat name.

Marius does not know why this goat is following him will someone please help him and stop giggling and taking pictures :(((((

Reblogging this in hopes that someone will illustrate it.

Tagged: les miserableshilarious

Source: theladyragnell

poetrymafia:

tonystarks:

daily reminder pepper potts took out every single big bad in all three iron man movies.

      [x]

Tagged: pepper pottsiron man

Source: tonystarks